just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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