i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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