walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
