The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
