have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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