ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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