Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
