my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
