i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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