i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
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