i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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