I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
