is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize