Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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