So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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