and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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