At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
