is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
