I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize