I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
