If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
