Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
