I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
