You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize