Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I pour the whiskey from now on
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
