i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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