hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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