Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
handjob tips. give me some.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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