Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
