This is not my ceiling
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I touched a dick in church today
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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