what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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