dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
