what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize