We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
