my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
