I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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