Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
