so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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