I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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