Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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