I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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