it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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