I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
