o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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