I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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