He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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