big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
