I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize