Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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