I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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