Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
