that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
third nipple confirmed
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
