oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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