You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
