Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
you never un-have a 4some
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
