I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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