Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
