It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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