Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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